22 Following


It's In His Kiss

It's In His Kiss - Mallory Kane 2.5

I think this book needs to be rewritten. It's not that the content is so bad it's just the lack of organization makes the book hard to follow at some points. You feel like you are missing some things and then you look back and realize it's the book not you. 
Debra has knowledge of Michael then all of a sudden she's never heard of him?
Page 52 - "All you have to do is get their permission. Oh, I know. Do you and Michael!"
Page 56 - Debra plucked the open newspaper off the other chair in Cat's cubicle, then sat. "A best friend who's a he? Why haven't I ever heard of him?"
Page 60 - "You want to tell me why you've never mentioned your 'best friend' before? I feel it's my duty to inform you that he's gorgeous."

She hadn't been to to apartment yet by page 54 but..
Page 54 - She wrinkled her nose at the memory of the seven dirty coffee mugs in the sink
Page 85 - "Michael, you have eight mugs and seven of them are in the sink."
How did she know about the cups?

Page 89 - Cat threw her hands up. "I have not seen Michael in three years. He could have totally changed."
Uh I thought it was six years?

Also the author messes up on Sara's name quite a bit sometimes its Sara and other times its Sarah that's confusing. The phrase "best friend" in my opinion is also kinda overused it's said 37 times and the word "friend" 107. I don't think it was necessary to repeat it so much.

Overall I liked it but it needs some work...